Nude

Don't let your hair down, let me take you in, all your curves and every inch of your skin

You criminal, you've stolen my eyes and my heart yet again

Hamster, I long for the moment out when our lips touch once more.

You're still in my veins

I fiend for you even after this long hiatus.

My drug, my pusher

Never stop getting me high

Let me overdose on you

I'll be fine

Let me pass out being high on you and wake up only to start again

You are perfectly rolled, lit just right, you never died out

I smoke you till the very tip

Lick my lips afterwards, I want to remember the taste for eternity

I'm an addict and I refuse to stop

Evils.

My Dearest Hamster,

I made you doubt, I filled you head with uncertainty. Even if for only the most fleeting of moments, the thought of me let doubt spring up it's ugly head.

Forgive me.

Do not do so if only to save me from drowning in this ocean of guilt, I will not accept it.

I will acknowledge your forgiveness, if it comes with the possibility of us still fighting to keep our flame alive.

Naïve, innocently so, under the impression that this was it, us both battling the frustration the distance between us birthed.

Now I know that the battle rages on deep into the relationship as well.

I smile at the challenge.

The thought of other things keeping me from my hamster is humorous.

How dare they think they can succeed?

When oceans couldn't kill the flame of love that burns fiercely within my heart,

What gave the evils of this earth the impression that anything after this would put out this flame?

However, these evils will have their own time to be defeated, what stands before is the evil of doubt that I myself allowed to rare it's head.

And so again I plead, forgive me, and let us keep on this long and trying road.

We may not see it now, but I know there will be a light ahead.

God is not so cruel as to not allow our love be actualised.

Yours always 

Ade

Hamsters Letter - 4

My Dearest Hamster,

It gladdens my heart to know you have found your happiness.

A light of sadness still glows at the thought that I couldn't be the reason for your joy.

It will be put out soon enough.

So refrain from thinking of me.

Forget me altogether.

Chase happiness, let me see you smile, because in turn, I derive the faintest bit of joy from the rays of your happiness.

I'm not so petty as to be downcast that you chose to forget me.

In all honesty, you gave me more days than I ever thought I'd have. 

However, on this side of the earth, where the air is different,

You still litter the streets of my mind.

Litter away my love.

Only your footprints on the sandy shores of my mind.

I refuse to give up on the memories I have with you.

I only have these memories.

In them I've found shelter.

In them lies the only way I can be with you.

I'm wrapped in a blanket of melancholic joy.

So I'm pleading with you, allow me to still hold on to these memories.

Do not tear away my blanket.

I can promise, to not send you anymore letters,

I'll write them and pretend you know what words I put down.

Feel free to let my memories ashes blow out of your mind,

I'll hold no grudge against you for this.

I always knew happy endings were far-fetched.

But I'll nurture the ember of optimising that glows bright for us,

Gently blow at it, keep it glowing, for this world or the next.

There will come a time for the flame of our love to burn bright.

I'll love you till then and beyond.

Yours always,

Ade.

Hamsters Letter - 3

My Dearest Hamster,

My faith in our dreams has grown faint. 

My interest in you remains, as though every morning when I wake, I meet you again for the first time.

The distance between us scares me.

My heart has sunk to the darkest pits of my belly.

I know other men aren't blind to your beauty.

Please forgive me if I sound as though I'm doubting your feelings towards me.

Not at all my dear. 

But if a man other than myself, wakes the butterflies that lay sleeping in your belly, I would not hold it against you if you let him fill the space I've left empty.

That thought keeps me up at night.

It is what I deserve.

Squandering what little time we shared.

Allowing misplaced jealousy to take control of my judgement.

Alas, I can not change what has already happened.

But if this is the last time I can confidently say I still have you,

You must know what I feel for you may have already transcended beyond the mediocrity of love.

Yours always,

Ade.

Hamsters Letter - 2

My Dearest Hamster,

I hope you haven't grown tired of my letters? 

I know I write too often, but your absence has created a hole these words only attempt to fill.

Is your memory of me as vivid as the one I have of you?

Or have I become a part of the past that will never be remembered?

Forgive me for acting like a child, but emotions such as these have a way of rolling back the years.

I am lonely only for you.

I had a dream last night, as real as the both of us, in which I felt the strands of your hair caress my cheeks.

And goosebumps plagued my skin when we touched.

I woke up to find your side of the bed warm, as though you just left.

Did you pay me a visit during the night?

Why didn't you stay till I woke my dear?

Or has your absence finally driven me mad?

My prayers are filled with mentions of your name.

All I know is you.

All I want is you.

All I'll ever want is you.

Yours always,

Ade.

Hamsters Letter

Hey Hamster,

As always I miss you terribly, yet you seem so present in my life. 

Your memory so vivid, it is as though you are right here in front of me.

I close my eyes and your beauty still radiates so bright.

Only to open my eyes wide, and realise you're still oceans away. 

Our timing is poor.

We never get it right. 

But I'm still here, as blind in optimism as I was when all I knew of you was your voice. 

I can not wait till the hands of the clock are just right for us, and the space between us evaporates.

When that moment comes, just let me hold you.

Let my arms serve as both comfort and shelter.

Always run into them, as I as well will always find refuges in yours.

My eagerness for all our plans to come to light can not be contained.

I am sat here, on my own, my grin as wide as the earth, and as bright as the stars, all for, and because of you.

I will keep a watchful eye on the horizon my dear.

Still waiting here in agony.

Yours always,

Ade.

The Elevator Relationship

In a block of apartments on different floors.

Thin walls and doors,

That's all that deprecates us.

She's stolen my heart and she doesn't know it.

Never said a single word to one another,

But hours we've spent with each-other.

I recognise her scent from a mile off.

The elevator bell rings,

Times up!

I curse under my breath as she leaves.

Another chance lost, and I lie to myself that tomorrow will be the day I speak to her,

Like I always do.

I walk to my floor, calling myself a coward with every step,

Then she creeps into my mind as I lay in my bed.

Alarm rings,

Rays if sun pierce through.

I roll over, get some music playing,

And I say to myself, "Today is it!".

I'll speak,

I'll say something,

And hopefully have her curve get lips to respond.

Have her speak to me and bless my ears.

With music that is her voice.

So I head out, confident, 

Kiss to the heavens for luck.

I get to the lift, bell rings, she's in there for me to get on.

Skin radiant as the sun,

Scent of vanilla.

My mouth watering,

I stand beside her, our eyes meet and I crack a smile.

The doors close.

The awkward silence fills the air,

It gets caught in my lungs.

The lift stops "Ground floor".

Her phone rings, I hear my song.

I make up my mind I'll do it when we get back,

She's leaving.

I'm about to walk out,

She turns around,

"Hey Ade, want to hang out?"

The elevator relationship

What These Words Hold.

These are all I have.
When all else fails,
These are all I have.
Letters, words.
Punctuations, the curve of a comma tickles.
The perfectly constructed sentence excites.
That paragraph, so well stitched together,
Warms me up as though it was winter.
A letter, composed like a piece of music, bringing tears to my eyes.
Those stories, sandwiched inbetween those book covers,
My imagination patiently waiting to run wild.
These are all I have.
When all else fails, these words won't.

X

GINGER

Sheltered beneath a hood.

Tucked away in a beanie.

She teases me with only a bit.

I want it to fall endlessly,

I want to see her deep in thought, finger wrapped between several strands.

I want to see her hard at work,

While she tucks it away behind her ear.

But she keeps it hidden.

Let it fall why don't you?

It's beautiful.

It's what I cherish the most about you,

But I don't think you know. 

I see you walking in through my mind,

Hair down to the bottom of your spine.

Shimmering in the midst if darkness, 

You bring the light.

Ginger

X

Dreams Of A Happy Ending

On my knees, at your feet,
Shackles holding me down.
You stand above me, with no regard for me.
An emotional investment that reaps nothing but pain.
Across the bar from me,
She embraces the world around us,
She feeds of the attention of the men around her.
Can I blame them?
From the way her hair falls, to the imperfections she embodies.
Everything about her attracts and kills,
And my death is coming.
So I'll run, far away from her.
She wanted a happy ending but we didn't even get to start.

x